Oh it’s still dark green October out. Better go back inside,
better get ready for some doom. Better do better tomorrow. No wait. Shut up.
Enough of that. Everything has a little distortion on it in October.
But man
it gets loud in here. It gets scary in here. Heart beat speeds up. Hope I don’t
pass out. Hope I don’t black out. Hope this helium in my head is just in my
head. Hope this bridge isn’t just a ramp into the horizon. Hope everything’s ok
with you.
Panic
starts and stops uninterrupted at any part in the day. Tumors and thick bloods
running and getting stuck on vitals and other sugary conditions as of yet
undiscovered in medical glossaries.
Sorry
dad, these are some dark songs, but
these are dark times traced in neon lights. Uninterrupted, please. No more arguments, please. We’ve been through
this before.
This is
out of our depth. Throw rocks until all the windows are broken but they’ll just
fix them tomorrow. No one will know. No one will care. A hundred years until
tomorrow anyway.
Sorry
but I’m not really sure what I’m supposed to be doing anymore, anyway. Confusion and disgust and indifference all
get blurry and instead of putting on your deciphering glasses let’s just sum it
up with a big shrug.
Hopefully
the roof stays put. Hopefully the car starts. Hopefully the water runs and the
power is on. Hopefully it’s never anything serious. Hopefully the phone doesn’t
ring.
Study
hall day dreams about scraping by; doing things you’re not sure you have any
business doing. You’ll be the exception. Everyone else will get by. Everyone
else will make it look easy but tell you that it’s really not. Everyone else
will get over it.
But it’s
dark, October, cold breeze anchors, crayon-drawn trees, miserable uncertain
ghosts; dress it up in orange and black, get it drunk, tell it everything will
be ok and then send it off to bed and hope for a flash of optimism in the
morning. . Maybe it won’t be so dark anymore.
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