Oh man I had that little bubble of energy this morning. I was going to get things done today. I've really seen too many movies in my life because I'm waiting for some upbeat number to slowly fade in from the speakers in the sky and motivate me to start cleaning, building, writing or whatever else I should be doing. I want a montage that ends with me rolling in a pile of money laughing hysterically. In a tuxedo with tails. And a top hat.
And it's not about the money really, it's about not having to worry about money. I assure you I will find other things to worry about.
It sometimes seems I am incapable of accomplishing anything without a gun to my head, or a serious case of the miseries. The everyday hum-drum shit is just enough to get me to bitch about but not enough to actually every do anything about. And here is where the big fuck up comes into place. The big fuck up is anyone who tries to give off an air of normalcy. Now I'm not getting into some punk rock thing about normalcy, that's just as much bullshit as barbecues and ballgames, I'm not talking about hating the guys wearing pressed slacks and polo shirts on a Sunday afternoon just because I can't feel comfortable in anything other than old t-shirts and baggy jeans. No way sir, I'm past all that garbage. I'm talking about the idea that things level off. Adulthood comes and you have a job and you get married and have kids and things are swell. Things slow down. Goals are apparent. Because, I think, for most people that is not only not the case, its never the case. THere's always more time around the corner. THings are going to change, if I can just get past...eh.
Here comes more stress and anxiety wheeling itself around like a moving landscape. But whatever. THis is life I guess. I guess I guess.